The Importance of a Breakdown:
Humans are good at upkeep priorities and responsibilities
This pressure, and then we break
Depression, babble, compelled to do bad things
Attach medical meaning behind breakdown so that life can continue, band-aid the situation
Break down is very real, bid for health, an attempt to force ourselves into growth]
“An attempt to jumpstart getting properly well by a chance of falling”
If we shift break down, we are not listening to the main lesson, an opportunity to learn
We need to listen to our mind and hearts
Breakdown is the point of desperation
We can not continue our normal, there needs to be a change otherwise death is preferable
We are inherently lazy
More time for ourselves, being honest, acceptance, etc
Crisis is an appetite for growth
“I don't know how I would've ever gotten well if i hadn't gotten ill”
Breakdown breaks us from status quo
Being Out of Touch With One’s Feelings:
Trouble coming from us being out of touch with our feelings
How do we not know what we feel?
It is hard for us to detect our feelings
We are conflicted with what is acceptable and what is not
We are influenced to believe certain emotions are not okay
Sexist based
Culturally based
Societal
We are not meant to feel to fit into images
When difficult feeling come, it is hard for us to become accountable to what is going on
Powerful feelings become swept under the rug and are deemed as bad
Small instances can erupt our feelings of upset exposes fragility and insecurity, therefore the emotions grown and become more intense
Feelings unattended to become full blown addictions
How to combat?
Become open minded
Listen to ourselves with self reflection/ idle moments
Allow time for feelings to come out
Very recently, I have a patient who has been becoming cognitively impaired. He was one of my first patients ever since I started, and I’ve always had very positive experiences with him. He was kind, witty, and always looking to make us laugh and our day easier. I was always empathizing with him, he sat for hours in our treatment chair, and then sat for hours in our lobby when his nursing home would forget to pick him up; and yet, he always made sure that he wanted to highlight the work that we do, even though he had tough days. Our conversations were like that of a grandparent with their grandchild. I knew of every lover he had, what his life looked like as a young adult, and what burdens him. He was a musician and played jazz all over the world. Everyday, we were greeted by his Hawaiian shirts, and bright smiles underneath a straw hat. Until one day, he missed treatment, and then another, and then a week passed, and before I knew it he was hospitalized for a month. When he came back, he was different. His witness dulled, his Hawaiian shirts changed into the same worn sweatshirt with new stains multiplying everyday, he sat quiet in the chair, and sat silently watching each car pass by, hoping it would be his nursing home. Then came the treatments, he would miss them and come back agitated, irritated, and angry. He became manic, getting furious when his ride would come so late, so he started to wander the streets. Since then we had to watch him, to make sure that he was safe because of his confusion. Missing treatments means that more toxins enter your blood, and therefore confusion tends to come with it. Some days he comes in just like who he was when I first had him, and then we don't see him for days, and he's back at square one. Recently, he was mentally stable, and so I was so happy to be delighted to dive into a conversation with him about ukuleles and jazz. So, the next treatment he had, I brought in a ukulele I haven’t touched in months due to work. He was back to his confusion the day I brought the ukulele in, but I was determined. After slowly re-orienting him, I started playing all the tunes we had talked about. I saw how the light that I used to see, started to glow again in his eyes, and soon enough he started singing along with me. At the end he said, “Hey, we talked about these songs!” I was amazed. I just played 4-6 songs for him, and all of a sudden he could remember. He started laughing again, and now every Saturday is our ukulele day.
Here is one of the songs that I sang for my patient !
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